


Salmon

by Dalankar



Category: Secretly and Greatly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows the lives of three salmon until the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salmon

His hair has gotten longer. Longer than Haerang has ever seen it. It makes Ryuhwan look softer. Not soft. Just ... less sharp around the edges.

\- 

Haerang would never tell him that he missed him, that he missed him so much that he couldn't sleep. That he used his father's contacts to find him. That he watched him exercise in the room for hours before he could muster up enough courage to come forward. But the look in Ryuhwan's eyes later tells him that maybe he knows all this anyway. 

\- 

He learnt how to kill, not how to strum a guitar. He'd thought it would be a breeze to play into his cover story. But cracking into the South Korean idol industry appears to be harder than he expected. 

But he'd still take it over Ryuhwan's cover story any day.

-

Haejin wonders what it is. True love? Hero worship? Unhealthy dependence? He's grappled with it for so long that he no longer cares to name it. He just wants to be close to him. Wants to protect him. 

Wants him. 

-

He can feel his heartbeat. Slow and steady and same as he remembers. His captain hasn't changed. Haejin exhales slowly. He feels as though he's home. 

\- 

Haerang watches Ryuhwan defend the old woman, watches him get pushed around by some lowlife he could kill one handed in his sleep.

One failing Ryuhwan has, that keeps him from becoming the deadliest soldier Haerang knows, is that he gets attached to people. Spend any amount of time with someone and Ryuhwan starts to think of them as his'. It makes him incredibly loyal. It is why he didn't kick Haerang off his bed when Haerang snuck in one night at the training camp. It is that which made Ryuhwan choose him as his partner during training exercises. It is what had made Haerang fall in love. But attachment is weakness. And a soldier of the republic cannot show weakness. 

\- 

His captain makes him feel as though he can do anything. Like he can take on the whole South Korean army and win. He's always been at his best with his captain. Haejin would do whatever it takes to not lose him again. 

\- 

This is real life? He's never known it. Never known family. Never sat around and sang songs with strangers who smiled at him as though he was a part of it all. Haejin feels out of place. Then his captain smiles at him. And everything falls into place again.

-

They're traitors. Strange but he doesn't feel like a traitor. He doesn't feel as though he's changed at all. But maybe while he was away his country changed. And now it wants him dead. Wants them all dead when all they've ever done is to sacrifice everything for it. Maybe he's spent too much time in the South because that feels a little unfair. If he has to die, let it be for something that would be worth it. Let him die in a glorious battle with many dead enemies at his feet. Let him die knowing his mother back home would be proud to call him her son. His hand knots over the necklace around his neck. His mother had spent all her savings on this. That crazy woman. The money could have fed her for a month, instead she brought him a protection charm.  _So my son will be safe and come back home to me one day._

Ryuhwan wants answers. Haerang doubts he would get them. Haejin is currently having a crisis, his loyalty to his country warring with his love for Ryuhwan. Haerang thinks it's hilarious. That kid has always been in love with Ryuhwan, a fact Haerang rarely lets bother him. Haerang would colour his hair black if the kid deserts Ryuhwan to follow his orders.

He strums forbidden notes on his guitar and watches Ryuhwan, leaning back against the slide, eyes closed. For a deadly warrior of the republic, his Ryuhwan has always been such a softie. 

\- 

He should have given the South Korean agents a little more credit. He should have been more vigilant. Should have expected a trap. He's gotten soft in the comfort of the South. He gasps when the tracker is dug out of his abdomen, not in pain, but in surprise at its existence. They never trusted him? Then why send him down here? Why give him a mission at all? At the back of his mind, he knows it’s not personal. He knows all 5446 agents would be tracked. But all he's ever wanted was to serve his country. Now it feels like his country had betrayed him. Haejin grits his teeth and begs. _Let me come with you. Please, let me go to him._ His captain is all he's got left. His captain is all he's ever had. 

\- 

_Listen, don't do anything stupid, alright,_ he says. Ryuhwan's shoulders are tense, he's looking out through a crack in the window. Waiting. Waiting for their judgement . 

_Won Ryuhwan._ Haerang brushes a hand over the back of Ryuhwan's hand. _Wait for me._   

-

His leg is shot but he hopes it will hold for this one last push. He meets Ryuhwan’s eyes one last time. He hopes Ryuhwan understands why. That Haerang has never wanted to outlive Ryuhwan. Ever. It’s a bonus that he gets to choose how he dies.

_Won Ryuhwan. Maybe next time, we’ll do this differently._

\- 

He feels his captain's arms wrap around him. He feels his captain's body shudder with the impact of every bullet. And he can't even scream. Please not this. Not him.

_We go together._

Haejin closes his eyes. If he ever got to pick how he died, it would have been in the arms of his captain.

\- 

They are buried together. Three unremarkable graves at the back of the cemetery.

Lee Haerang. Won Ryuhwan. Ri Haejin.

No one will know the story of the salmon that swam too far away from home.

-

"If you could go anywhere, do anything, what would it be?" Haerang asks, lying on his back on Ryuhwan's rooftop. Ryuhwan is lying on one side of him and Haejin is sitting cross-legged on Ryuhwan's other side.

"And don't say to your mother's house," he warns Ryuhwan, expecting his typical answer. Ryuhwan's lips curl up in a smile, his eyes closed against the glare of the afternoon sun.

"Africa," Haejin answers suddenly. Haerang turns his head to look at him.

"'Africa'?"

Haejin nods. "I want to see the elephants."

Haerang grins. "Then go to the zoo, kid."

Haejin looks at him, eyes cool, like he does every time Haerang calls him a kid.

"I want to see them in the wild, not in a prison."

"I want to be here," Ryuhwan says quietly. "If I could choose, I'd be here."

"And be the town idiot forever?" Haerang laughs.

"Be with my family. With ajumma, and hyung, and Yooran and Yoogun and those two little devils. You and Haejin." Ryuhwang turns his head to look at him. "If I could I'd choose this moment forever."

It's not often that Ryuhwan can leave him speechless. Haerang swallows and reaches over to link their fingers together. Ryuhwan smiles and reaches for Haejin's hand on the other side. Haejin blinks down at their links hands then up at Ryuhwan who had closed his eyes again. Haerang grins when Haejin looks at him. He has to admit, this is not such a bad moment to stretch into forever. Even with the ants he can feel crawling over his feet, and the heat of the day that is almost uncomfortable. At a moment like this, they can almost forget their past, almost be undisturbed pieces of this town's makeup, believe that their future would be made up of more days like this. Haerang closes his eyes with a smile when Haejin finally lies down beside Ryuhwang. He should probably be practising his guitar, he does have an audition tomorrow. But Ryuhwan's fingers are warm in his' and Haerang doesn't want to let go. Maybe he'd choose this too. A moment to last forever.

*** 


End file.
